The one that got away

I recently decided to change things up, since my main is very, very obviously a corp ganker, and I get laughed at more than I am laughing, so it was a much needed change. I created a corporation to use to bring people in, and then shoot them. You’d be surprised how little background checking recruits do on their recruiters. I also had a mark already lined up for this, so the timing was perfect.

Well, he told me he was trustworthy...

I advertised the corp as a “1337 pvp” corporation of small people who know what they’re doing and do it well. Then, I sat around tooting my own horn until he thought it was such a good deal, he just had to have in. He told us about how he got a lot of complements from people on his “skill” because he can fly every single t1 ship in the game, besides capitals. His character isn’t even that old, how the hell can he fly those ships? Who was drunk enough to tell him he had skill? The dude can’t even type sentences well. I’m sorry, but there is a reason why we brought you into the corp, and it’s not because “so-and-so told you that you had potential”.

This is all we wanted, really.

Well, he joined the corp, and we instantly gave him roles, locking him in for 24 hours at a minimum. Now the fun begins. We tell him to warp to planet 1 so we can “check his resists” and he shows up. I shoot him a little bit while the neutral RR reps him. His tank “checks out” and I ask him to 1v1 me, which he agrees to do after I promise to not blow up the ship. My humble Megathron tore through our “Corp Standard” bhaalgorn fitting and he quickly tapped out. My friend, who I brought in for this con then asks if he can fight me in the bhaalgorn, because he’s apparently beat me several times before. After a lot of persuading, he agrees to get out, and my friend instantly jumps into it. We pod him, and then claim I misclicked and didn’t mean to shoot his pod with my Megathron, and he believes it. Maybe he knows we’re lying, and deep down is just hoping one day we will actually be his friends, or maybe he truly is obvious, and has no idea that he is giving us billions. He asks where the Bhaalgorn is, and due to lack of creativity, we claim someone else jumped in it and warped away. Now he’s angry. He wants us to chase him down because he is 20 jumps away in a station, so I wait a few minutes and shout “I got the bhaalgorn! Blah blah he’s pointed!” in corp. Our mark asks to talk to him… shit. Wasn’t expecting that. I quickly get on my alt and make a new character and send him the name. Completely oblivious to the fact the character is literally minutes old, he starts shouting threats at me and all his friends that are going to kill me. I know his friends, they just split the bounty between himself and the person they were hired to kill, so I’ll milk that cow later. I tell him to give me 500m or I self destruct the Bhaalgorn. A bad bluff, because 500m isn’t even half the market value of a Bhaalgorn, but it doesn’t matter, he doesn’t have 500m anyway. I remember him telling me a few days ago that he has a Loki he just bought, so I hop on my main and tell him to give him the Loki and I will repay him or something. He agrees and contracts my alt the Loki, who then contracts it to my main and sold it. Cha-ching! I tell him (on my alt) that I am a DISHONORABLE SPACE PIRATE and I’m keeping the Bhaalgorn, and he flips a shit in both the private chat and in corp. Well, looks like my alts going to have a lot of bounties on him in the near future.

> yep god damed im so mad i could pop a cap in some ones head and not feel bad about it but i wouldent do it beacuse im not that dumb

In the end both me and my friend made away with ~850m each for an evenings work. Our mark has no idea we were in on the scam, and he wants to stay in the corp and learn “leet pvp”.

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14 thoughts on “The one that got away

  1. L33T PVP accomplice says:

    As the fella who got away with half the proceeds on this one, I have to say it was a good evenings work.

    I’m not sure if the most entertaining part was convincing him our “corp standard fit” had no neuts on it (so he couldn’t possibly cap us and warp off) or that he literally watched me jump in and steal it, but when we were “HOLY CRAP SOMEONE TOOK IT!” he thought someone else with a name remarkably similar to mine had stolen it.

    Oh, and the loki had meta 0 guns and a meta 0 medium shield booster fit.

  2. Anonymous says:

    I think that EVEs scam policies have fostered a very harsh environment which brings out the very worst in fellow human beings. I’ve heard all the excuses, but they do not justify this kind of behaviour. Using Social engineering to abuse one of the things that makes us human; trust, is to me of very questionable moral fibre. Especially while hiding behind anonymous alts, which is simply a receipt saying that you agree with this basic principle and would never do it with a character that matters.

    Untied alts provide infinite social capital, and allow people to behave like dicks.

  3. High Horse says:

    I think that EVEs scam policies have fostered a very harsh environment which brings out the very worst in fellow human beings. I’ve heard all the excuses, but they do not justify this kind of behaviour. Using Social engineering to abuse one of the things that makes us human; trust, is to me of very questionable moral fibre. Especially while hiding behind anonymous alts, which is simply a receipt saying that you agree with this basic principle and would never do it with a character that matters.

    Untied alts provide infinite social capital, and allow people to behave like dicks.

    • L33T PVP accomplice says:

      I stole the ship using my main character. I always scam using my main.

      I fully accept any action someone else brings against me as a result of being a dick. If they are unable, or unwilling, that is their issue, but there is always the option open to them.

      No excuses, I acted like a cock because we got nearly 2bil from him and it’s not likely to stop there.

      • PG says:

        “No excuses, I acted like a cock because we got nearly 2bil from him and it’s not likely to stop there.”

        That’s an excuse.

        It’s the best excuse and you’re awesome because of it.

      • High Horse says:

        Regardless if it was by hiding your main posing with an alt, or using an in-game character rather than scamming in real life, I was just airing my disapproval over this type of activity. A simple opinion, not so much to debate, especially since you both already seem to acknowledge that you are not contributing pillars of the Eve-community.

      • L33T PVP Accomplice says:

        “or using an in-game character rather than scamming in real life”

        Welcome to stupid thinking.

        You seem to think I have any desire to scam people in real life; I do not.

        Converse to what you may think, the only reaction I want out of killing or scamming someone is a simple “well played bro” – because eve is a GAME and all you’re really doing when you scam, carebear, or whatever, is play the GAME.
        As such, I wish people could sit down and talk about the relative merits / tactics in situations like this and move away from all the fucking butthurt.

        I literally cannot understand the mindset of people who get *actually upset* when something like this, or non-consensual pvp, happens to them. I tend to mock and laugh at these people, but it is actually just sad.

        Worse still is the people who think that playing a game a certain way (but within the rules) is evidence I’m just waiting for the first little old lady to come along so I can rob her.

        See also chess: played by megalomaniacs who literally see people as pawns to sacrifice for their own gain.

  4. badbadsnipey says:

    I’d just like to say that in the short amount of time this blog has been up, it’s become my new favourite. Since My Loot Your Tears stopped dead in it’s tracks, I had nowhere to draw inspiration for new and creative douchebaggery in this game. The quality of your posts are fantastic, and if I may make one suggestion, adding the chat logs and little screen shots of the Loki in your Hanger. Little things like that to pad out the posts and give them a little more substance. These stories are way to good to be this short. Maybe even just writing in a little more detail. Anyway, I’ll be reading everything you put on here regardless. Cheers!

    • L33T PVP Accomplice says:

      Thanks for the positive feedback 😉

      I’ll send DOATSP the logs from my POV and we’ll post the story in chat. Sadly it’s so much bad grammar you might bleed from the eyes.

      Best I can do for now is to show this :

  5. Thirsty Guy says:

    OK, this blog kicks ass. Found via reddit.

  6. number one with says:

    Did I miss it? I would love love love to read the chat logs for this, edited to whatever standard of opsec required of course.

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