Hey, ‘licen’!

This one requires a bit of backstory to understand. Before I quit EVE (The second time) I managed to scam this guy out of several billion ISK in ships on several different occasions. And he had no clue he had been scammed, not even a suspicion. So, when I started EVE again guess who the first person I contacted? Mr. JMT.

I'm pretty sure he looks like this in real life

He was so excited to see me, I just had to join his corp! Well, it certainly saved me some work. I soon found out he had an Orca he just recently bought, and Orcas are now apparently 500m now (Seriously what the fuck, man)? Not only that, he put a Dread Guristas shield booster on it. JACKPOT. I waited about a week, chatting it up and corp and becoming friends with them (Surprisingly, I was actually too lazy to scam him, and ended up putting it off for a week). Eventually I decide it was time, so I asked him to borrow his Orca to move some assets around. I’m not sure where the logic was, but last time I checked week old characters can’t fly Orcas.

People who fit ships like this want to be scammed

So, the next day I’m expecting the “So… when am I getting my Orca back…” message. But he doesn’t mention it. Or the next day. Or even the day after that. In fact, I have to kill two retrievers while mocking them in corp chat for him to even ask me about the Orca. Well, eventually my trusty thrasher died in a fire, but not after getting some anger from the victims. One guy (very originally) called me a “butthole”.

The only thing worse than his spelling is his grasp of the situation

Lesson to learn from this? If someone “borrows” your Orca and you didn’t get it back? You’ve probably been scammed.


I don’t know why I’m wasting my time with this royal pain in the ass of a blog. See that? That was a joke. Enjoy.